The Fat Boy

38  Male

All my life I have battled my weight. My parents never really focused on healthy eating and allowed me to eat anything I wanted. I ate a lot of fast food and candy. By the time I was thirteen, I weighed two hundred and fifteen pounds.

Needless to say my high school years were not good. Forget dating. Forget dances or sports. I stayed in a lot. I had one best friend and he was heavy too. We were social outcasts. My youth was very difficult and I was depressed all the time. The more depressed I got, the more I ate.

By the time I was twenty-one, I shot up to three hundred and eighty-five pounds. I was unhealthy and unhappy. I figured I would never find a woman who loved me. I didn’t love myself. I attempted suicide that year. I lived. Maybe I didn’t really want to die. I took a bunch of pills and passed out. I woke up and realized that I had vomited the pills. I could have choked on them in my black out but I took it as a sign that I needed to make changes. I started reading everything I could about eating healthy. It was hard at first to change all the bad habits I acquired from such an early age but I was determined. I started walking. At first I could barely walk for ten minutes without gasping for my breath but within a month, I was walking at least a mile a day.

It took me two years and I was finally at the healthy weight of one hundred and eighty-five pounds. A new me emerged. By that time, I was a regular at my gym. I had muscle definition and I looked and felt like a new person. I was! I lost a whole person in weight.

I have managed to keep the weight off and feel safe to say that I won’t gain it back. The funny thing is that I still often feel like that fat boy that everyone made fun of. I am not the most handsome man in the world, not even close but I am an OK looking guy. I have a decent job and have been in a relationship with a woman now for over a year and it’s serious. I live with the irrational fear that she will discover the fat boy living inside of me and run. I know that isn’t the case but I fight my insecurities every day.

I am proud of my accomplishment and my decision to lead a healthy lifestyle and for the most part I am a happy person. I think the best lesson I learned from my weight problem and overcoming it, is that I do not judge people by their appearance. It’s just a shell. The essence of who we are is not about what we look like.

To anyone, male or female that has a weight problem, I suggest taking one very small step. Literally. When you fall off that wagon and eat too much, don’t take it as defeat. Allow yourself the pleasure and then take a walk. Determination is the only way you’ll finally lose the weight and I promise, it’s worth it!

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