If Only I Were Rich

I am a male and almost 47 years old.

When I was a younger guy, I was a great looking man. I had a good physique and never had a problem attracting the ladies. Especially the hot ones. It was always easy for me in that department. I never made tons of money but again, it didn’t get in the way where women were concerned.

When I turned 40, I started noticing changes. First it was my gut. My spare tire. Then it was some wrinkles and lines. Now it’s a lot of different things. My metabolism, my thinning hair, my energy but most of all, I have lost the appeal to women I once had. This is very upsetting for me. I had assumed it would always be my fate. I took for granted my youth. Now I find myself fantasizing about minor plastic surgery procedures. Botox, fillers. I have looked them up and am often tempted to make an appointment but I never have. I really don’t want to be the old guy who not only looks old but vain with noticeable “work” done.

Now that I will be fifty soon and I am not a rich man, I wonder if I will be able to find happiness and love. My cup runneth over before and now the pickins are slim. I never married and I still think I would like to.

I have to admit that I envy George Clooney. He looks better than I do and is living the kind of life I figured I might have on a much smaller scale. I like the dude and don’t wish him ill, I just want what he’s got.

Society places so much emphasis on women and the whole body image thing. But men go through it too. I don’t hate myself or anything but I do feel disappointed that I no longer have the sex appeal that I became so used to, so addicted to. It’s like a cruel joke. Maybe it’s part of the plan. Maybe I need to know what it feels like to struggle. I just wished it would have been the reverse. I could have gotten better with age.

If only I were rich.

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